greenhamster.co.uk

May 22, 2003

Disturbing frequency

Apparently one Pot Noodle is sold every 5 seconds. I think that's a cultural statement about the UK we'd rather not shout about.

May 21, 2003

Marked man

Awoke this morning to find that a bruise on my thigh from football last night has mutated into a big swollen red hexagon. Hmmm, that's going to look attractive on the beach this summer!

They say that chicks dig scars, but I'm not buying that for a second. Couple yesterday's Adidas-branding incident with managing to iron my stomach earlier this month and you're not going to impress anyone. Perhaps I should pull a Fight Club routine down the pub later, just so that I have a plausable 'You should've seen the other guy...' story for the girls?

May 18, 2003

Rentals you keep forever

Students who feel they are above giving their houseguests AOL CDs and old dried out beermats to rest their coffee cups on will soon be able to go a bit more upmarket: they'll be able to spill their afternoon tea on copies of 'The Recruit' or 'Signs'.

Not only that, but these self destructing DVDs mean that they'll never have to get up early to return a movie, as their rentals will 'rust' after two days out of their wrapper, rendering them as useless as an ironed frisbee.

It could be my background, but when I read the phrase 'technology cannot be hacked by programmers' in that Wired article, I immediately started thinking up schemes to prove them wrong. Not that I'd dream of ever using any of them, of course...

May 15, 2003

Returning to sender

Good news everyone...I finally bought a digital camera! Now I'll finally be able to do one of the things I set out to do when I started this website: embarass the people I care about in front of the world.

The bad news is, it doesn't work properly, so I have to get it replaced. The problem is I have to return it to the shop where I bought it. In London.Since it only costs a few pounds less to post the thing insured and recorded, I thought I'd go back there and do some more gallery hopping.

Any other suggestions for interesting stuff to do in London?

Girls Aloud (well, slightly muffled)

Spent last weekend in London with Ben for his birthday. Actually I was a day late, but that's a whole other thing...at least I showed...

Still, we had a cracking time. Spent the day doing sight-seeing, touristy things, and then (surprise) went out.

As we were standing in line for a club, we could see a crew unloading the stage gear for a Girls Aloud gig. You couldn't help but be interested: There were guitars, drums a bunch of phone booths (in the style of the one in...that film. What was it called again?) and, most suspiciously, five duffel bags. Really big black ones, each just large enough to contain a fully grown...

...nah.

May 08, 2003

Nibbled to death

Left the window open last night, and woke up to to find nasty, itchy red insect bites all over my knees. Nowhere else, just my knees.

Why?.

I had a similar experience on holiday a few years ago, when I went to sleep and woke up with bites all over my elbows. Just my elbows.

I'm more or less convinced that I have tastier parts? Does anyone know why this happens, or should I just sleep with skate pads on?

May 07, 2003

Revealing nothing

It's been a fine couple of days hasn't it? Despite a serious attempt at browning on Sunday the summer tan is still very much a work in progress. I'm regarding my efforts so far as more of a primer than anything else.

Definately shades weather though, so a chance to instill fear into anyone who dares approach you:

A lecturer once told me that when you walk toward someone, your eyes subconsciously signal the direction that you're going to head in order to avoid them. But of course when you're wearing shades, people can't see your eyes. Their faces just droop in panic until you eventually peel off to the left.

Oh, but don't try it too often, or you'll just look like a fool.

May 03, 2003

Rock, hard place, penknife

I suspect that anyone who claims that they'd be capable of doing this is probably lying. I was stunned when I head about it on the radio. Serious respect for that guy.

Mikes last blast

Well, not quite. Last night was my friend Mike's leaving do. Was crackin' evening, featuring a French funk band, white russians, crispy ducks and some you-really-had-to-be-there conversation pieces about piercings.

The night was almost spoiled by the doorman outside one of the bars we wanted to go to (which I'd name if I could remember what it was called) who, after we'd queued up for ten minutes in the cold, refused to let the seven of us in because 'too many of you are guys and we have too many men in there already'. We found this odd since there was a group of twelve girls waiting right behind us, but you can't argue with stupidity so we moved on.

Anyway, was a good one and I wish Mike the best of luck in his new career. Stay in touch man!