October 26, 2003

Elephants and Early Birds

It's been coming for weeks. I knew it was coming, and I missed it anyway. Again.

So who else was up an hour earlier than they needed to be this morning?

October 25, 2003

Get me an exit

Building contractor: Can you get out this way?

I look up from my desk. He's pointing at the fire escape.

Dave: I should bloody well hope so...

October 22, 2003


Those people who read here even vaguely regularly will know that I'm not a writer. My grammar is terrible, I can't do joined up writing unless I go back at the end and put the extra lines in afterward and have the attention span of a goldfish watching the Salon. Like something out a dot-to-dot from child's activity book, the last story I wrote was pointless, uninspired, hard to follow and ultimately left unfinished.

I'm normally a cinema person. However, the extra travelling I've been doing lately coupled with Stuart's recent generosity with his used books has filled what would otherwise be wasted hours with stories of monkeys, majors and millionaires. And I'm really enjoying them. When this fiction presented in Dave's-imagin-o-vision (I think they filmed Fear and Loathing in something similar...) it's better than the movies. And the best part is, you can screen it anywhere.

I wish I could write, but I can't. I'll read more instead.

October 21, 2003

Fish tank tactics

Still here. I've been employing the Blaine technique for drawing attention to myself. Just look below: There've been no new posts, no site development, no comments, in fact I've done absolutely nothing for the last 12 days and yet somehow drawing the same if not more traffic than usual.

Thankyou, all of you. I-love-you-all-of-you-I-love-you-all....


After breakfast I shall be back to my usual tricks.

October 08, 2003

Entertainment in numbers

Statistically speaking, for every Shakespeare writing Romeo and Juliet, there could be a million monkeys with typewriters trying to do the same thing. And thinking about it, while they may be a little less civilised than your average bard, and the finished product might not be quite as polished, a million primates trying to churn out a stage play is going to be a hell of a show in itself.

(Inspired by something I read at The Register.)

October 06, 2003

After Dark

Strange things were afoot as I left the office this evening. Actually they were both strange and light-of-foot: As I walked out of the building I walked through one office to find all the chairs pushed aside and about thirty people engaged in some kind of formation dancing arrangement.

You expect certain things in the evening office that you don't get during the day. Cleaners who are anything but clean, yes. Maintenance staff who wear overalls just as a primer for all the paint, dirt and general filth that accumulates on them, maybe. Occassionally even a lesser-spotted security person. But you'd never suspect that after hours, while you're at home kicking back and watching ER, there's a hoe-down bustin' loose in front of your desk.

Whatever was going on, I hadn't heard about it on the office grapevine, I don't know exactly what they were doing or why. But I do know this: I wasn't invited, I wasn't involved, and there's no way I'm getting involved.

My fever is strictly Saturday night only.

October 04, 2003


As happens quite a lot lately, this has become a working weekend. A social disaster, the working weekend not only takes out Saturday and Sunday, it also spreads debris all over the surrounding area, trashing your Friday night and making Monday morning seem even less appealing than usual. Why I volunteer for these exercises in corporate devotion I'll never understand. I guess I should be I'm just committed.

Never mind: Next weekend is a long one for me and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to do something worth writing about. We can only hope.